Blind Woe
by Laziness Incarnate
Summary: Weekly Go is celebrating its 15th Anniversary with an essay contest! The topic of the essay: an experience that changed your go. All submissions must be typed and double-spaced. A parody of the blind go challenge on Livejournal.
1. Chapter 1

**Blind Woe**

_GRAND SLAM WRITING JAM!_  
_Weekly Go is celebrating its 15th Anniversary with an essay contest! The grand prize winner will receive a fabulous trip to Seoul, Korea! The topic of the essay: an experience that changed your go._ _All submissions must be typed and double-spaced._

"TOUYA!"

"Present," replied Touya, not looking up from his novel. "And you don't have to scream my name, I know what it is."

"Touya!" Hikaru yelled again at a slightly lower decibel level. "What's this about a contest? With a trip to _Korea_ as the prize?"

"What about it?"

"Why didn't you tell me about it before?"

Touya flipped the page of his book. "I assumed you know how to read. They've been advertising it for the past four weeks now. But I guess I assumed too much."

Hikaru thwapped his copy of _Weekly Go _on the table, right beside Touya's pretentious-looking leather-bound novel. "But look at the ad, it's so poorly designed! The first prize is a _free trip to Korea _and it's written in tiny letters. They should have put _that _at the top instead of that "Grand Slam Writing Spam" title or whatever. Otherwise why would I pay attention to this kind of thing?"

Touya shifted in his seat in a way that meant he was irritated but too polite to show it to anyone but Hikaru. But because Hikaru knew how to read Touya's moods, he knew that when Touya shifted in his seat that way it meant he _wanted _Hikaru to know he was irritated, or possibly his butt was itchy.

"Maybe," said Touya very clearly, finally looking up from his book, "some people are participating in this contest for reasons other than wanting the prize. Maybe some people think that they have a story to tell-"

"Yeah, yeah, _trip to Korea. _I can go over there and kick Ko Yongha's ass. A few hundred times. Maybe play Suyon too. Priorities, Touya."

Touya opened his mouth, his mouth pursed in a way that meant something caustic was about to be said, but what came out was, "You should eat. Lunch break will be over soon."

Hikaru looked at his beef bowl and felt distinctly un-hungry. "Hey, why are you acting so weird? You're not shouting at me, even though I've been shouting at you."

"I am not acting weird. You know about the other prizes, right?"

"Of course I know." Hikaru scanned beyond the first two sentences of the contest ad. "Yeah...well, if that isn't the biggest let-down of a second place prize ever. A book of kifu."

"Kifu from the Golden Age of Go," Touya pointed out. "It's a new book. I thought you might be interested in it."

"But I already know all of Shuusaku's games by heart," said Hikaru, because it was the truth. "And anyway, it doesn't matter because I'm going to win the grand prize."

"Oh, really? I suppose you have some wonderful idea about what to write, then?"

Hikaru opened his mouth to respond, when it suddenly hit him that he would actually have to _write _in order to get that coveted ticket to Korea. Hadn't he escaped junior high so he wouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing anymore? The most complex thing he'd written lately was the "HA I KILLED UR ASS THT GAME" message he'd sent to Waya's cell phone last week. How the hell was he supposed to win a writing contest?

But Touya was looking at him in that straightforward way of his, a hint of challenge and disbelief and mockery and Kaio-brand snobbishness in the set of his chin and the depths of his eyes and most of all in the pinstripes of his god-awful tie. Hikaru wouldn't back down from a challenge like that.

"Shindou, why are you staring at my tie?"

"I am not staring at your tie."

"Why are you staring at my chest?"

"I am staring at your tie."

"Is that what you're going to write about?"

"_No_, in fact, I'm going to writing something great, so you can't be in it at all," Hikaru declared. He felt weird as soon as the words came out of his mouth, which probably meant he hadn't meant to say that at all, but he wasn't going to take it back now that Touya was looking at him like that. Like he wanted to kill him.

"Well," said Touya icily (he was the only person Hikaru knew who could actually be described as speaking icily) (and why the heck was he so mad?), "since that's how you feel, I suppose I should leave you to write in peace. Best of luck to you."

Touya stood up abruptly, which meant that his chest was suddenly level with Hikaru's face and generally waaaaaay too close for comfort. It was freaking him out, Touya in his calm-angry mode; he much preferred Touya in his explosive-angry mode. Made for better go.

"Hey!" said Hikaru as Touya neatly tucked his chair under the table and started walking away, long hair hiding his face. "You won't be seeing me until the contest is over! And you'll be seeing me with that ticket to Korea in hand!"

For a moment Touya stopped, his shoulders squared in that annoyingly proud way-but he said nothing, and continued on his way.

"Damn it," said Hikaru quietly after Touya had turned the corner. "What do I do now?"

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

"What do you _mean _you want my help?" Waya demanded.

Hikaru rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "I mean exactly what I said."

"It's only eight days before the deadline. How could you not know about it? What did you think everyone was talking about this whole month? Why did you think Morishita-sensei's was muttering 'not finished, not finished' during study group?"

"I thought it was because he failed to make two eyes," Hikaru replied sheepishly. "Or that he had to do his taxes."

"It's not even tax time right now! I knew you were dense but this really takes the cake. And you think you have a chance at winning? You weren't even smart enough to know there's a contest going on!"

"But if you think _you _have a chance of winning, then I probably-"

Waya whacked him on the arm. "Don't compare me to you. For one thing, I already know what I'm going to write."

"Ah ha! So you haven't actually started yet!"

"But I know what I'm going to write!"

"But you haven't started yet!"

"But I know what I'm going to write!"

"What are you gonna write?"

"As if I'd tell you, you just want to steal my idea."

Hikaru put on his saddest, most pitiful expression, the one that always convinced his mom and Kawai-san to buy stuff for him.

"I'm not your mother," said Waya. "There's no way that's going to work. Just-stop it. Don't look at me like that. Don't. Okay, fine, I'll tell you, I'm writing about passing-Isumi-san!"

Hikaru gave him a bewildered look. "You're writing about passing Isumi-san? You're good and all, but I don't think you can say you've passed-"

Waya was waving at someone behind Hikaru. "Isumi-san, over here!"

"What are you two talking about?" Isumi wondered, walking up to them. "I could hear you from the game room."

"We were just talking about that contest in _Weekly Go_ , which our young genius here-" Waya pointed his thumb at Hikaru, "-didn't know about at all."

"Hey!"

Isumi smiled indulgently at Hikaru, which was kind of annoying but less annoying than Waya was in general. "Do you have any ideas about what to write?"

Hikaru shook his head. "No, and stupid Waya here isn't helping me out any. Isumi-san, what are you writing about? About finally passing the pro exam?"

"No, not exactly," said Isumi thoughtfully. "I'm going to write about my trip to China."

"Oh, China," Waya commented, rather uselessly.

"Yang Hai-san and the others really helped me find my go there. Compared to that, the pro exam was almost just an afterthought. Writing this essay is going to be my small way of showing how much Yang Hai-san and the others helped me. And also, I think a lot of other people will write about the pro exam, so I wanted to write about something different. What about you, Waya?"

For some reason Waya was wincing. "Um, I haven't decided yet."

"What?" Hikaru blurted out. "But you said earlier-"

"Shindou, you have a brain the size of a takoyaki ball, you can't trust what you might think you don't remember me saying some thirty seconds ago."

"What?"

"My point exactly."

"Waya," chided Isumi.

"I know, stop picking on the village idiot."

"Hey!" Hikaru said for the second time this conversation. He really wished he were better at defending himself. Defending himself, defending himself...which was what Waya was trying to do by diverting the conversation from...

"I know what you're gonna write about!" he crowed at Waya. "I bet it's about the pro exam. And Isumi-san just said that that's a stupid idea!"

Waya's face was turning slightly pink. "Don't be stupid. My idea is way better than that."

"Then tell us what it is!"

"No, you'll just steal it."

"Waya," said Isumi, "if you don't have any ideas, I could help you come up with something."

Waya looked back and forth between the gleeful Hikaru and the concerned Isumi, obviously conflicted.

"Do you want me to come over to your place?" added Isumi.

"No, that's okay," Waya said slowly, sounding as if he was hating himself already for his decision. "I can do this on my own. I know I can. It's okay. I rely on you enough as it is."

Hikaru looked at him in astonishment. "Who are you and what have you done to Waya?"

"Shut up! You need to come up with an idea on your own too."

Isumi nodded. "It'll mean more if it comes from your own memories, rather than from someone else."

"That's true. I want to write something good," said Waya.

Hikaru eyed them warily. They were actually serious. He nodded as well, and said, "Me too. I'll write something good."

"Yeah," Waya agreed with a grin. "Shindou, let's promise each other that we'll finish this even if it kills us."

"Yes. _Even if it kills us_," Hikaru agreed.

As they gave each other high-fives, Waya added, "After all, what's a couple thousand words?"

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

_Five days later_

"I HATE THE WORLD," Hikaru scrawled in his notebook. "ESPECIALLY WAYA YOSHITAKA. WHAT'S A COUPLE THOUSAND WORDS MY ASS."

Hikaru stared at the shiny new black notebook he'd bought especially for this goddamn essay. The only thing he'd written in it were curses against the world at large and against a few people in particular. He looked at the list of names he'd written (Touya and Waya's names appeared multiple times) and could feel the death wishes welling up in him. Man, who knew that the act of writing could make a person feel so murderous? If only Sai had been a shinigami...

Hikaru was (thankfully) pulled out of his homicidal funk by his cell phone, which was beeping out a Ken Hirai song, which meant that Waya had once again secretly reprogrammed his phone to be a wussy piece of junk. Hikaru ignored the call and wrote down five more sentences about Waya in the black notebook.

_Waya Yoshitaka dies of carpal tunnel syndrome because he wasted his time performing cell phone piracy when he was supposed to be working on his essay. Waya Yoshitaka dies via piracy in the middle of the Arctic Ocean. Waya Yoshitaka dies by ass piracy. Waya Yoshitaka dies by god I hate this song._

Ken Hirai would not shut up. Hikaru finally snatched up his cell phone and hit the answer button. "Hello?" he yelled.

"...Hikaru? This is Akari. Um, where are you? You were supposed to come over and play a tutoring game with me."

"I was?"

"Yes."

"Oh. Oh crap! I'm so sorry, Akari, I totally forgot! You should have reminded me."

"I'm not your mother."

"Yeah, she didn't remind me either."

He heard a huffing sound from her end, and he could imagine her twisting her fingers in her hair in annoyance. "Anyway," she said, "it's not like I live very far from you. You can still come over and only be...let's see, forty-five minutes late."

Hikaru looked at the clock. Eight forty-four in the evening. He looked at his notebook. About five hundred words, all death threats. "I'm sorry, Akari...the reason I forgot about our game was because there's this writing contest that _Weekly Go _is putting on, and-"

"Oh, I know about that. I've already finished mine."

"You WHAT?"

"I had some free time between fourth and fifth period today."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No. Well, yes, I'm kidding about finishing it between fourth and fifth period, but I _am_ finished."

"I meant whether you were kidding about entering the contest thing."

He heard another huff through the phone. "Just because I'm not a pro doesn't mean I don't have some good stories to tell. _And _I actually pay attention during Japanese class, so I know a lot of big words, unlike you."

"What did you write about?"

"About the Haze Go Club, of course. About how Tsutsui-senpai started everything on his own, and how he pulled you in, then me and Kumiko, and Mitani-kun, Kaneko-san, Koike-kun...we had some good times together."

"Huh, that sure takes me back. It actually sounds like a pretty good essay topic. Maybe I should-"

"Don't you dare steal my idea."

"I was just kidding."

"Sure you were. Why would you want to write about the Haze Go Club anyway? Aren't you going to write about Touya Akira?"

"Why would I write about him?" Hikaru asked coldly.

There was a pause on the other end, before Akari said, "Oh, I see. It's that time of month again."

"What's that supposed to mean!"

"You guys are having a spat, right? You should really go make up with him, it'll make you feel better."

"We are not having a spat. He mortally offended me-"

"Oh really? What did he say to mortally offend you?"

Hikaru tried to think back to their last conversation, to whatever thoughtless, elitist remark Touya had thrown at him this time, but the only offensive thing he could remember was Touya's bee-stripe tie and purple suit combination.

"Look, he was pretty horrible that day, okay? Anyway, I need to get writing, Akari."

"I really mean it, Hikaru, you should go make up with Touya. It'll cut down on both our cell phone bills if I don't need to be your therapist all the time."

"Bye, Akari."

"Good luck, Hikaru."

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

_The next day_

"God, that game took forever," Hikaru groaned.

"Mine too," concurred Waya.

"I don't have time to waste, I need to go work on my essay."

"How much have you written?"

"Uh..."

Hikaru had not written anything after getting off the phone with Akari the night before. He'd been too depressed after hearing that Akari had already finished her essay. He had lost to Akari!

"Uh, I've been working on it but I haven't been making much headway. There's just too much pressure."

"I know! Why did they give us so little time? It's not fair."

"We're busy people, with busy schedules!"

"Every minute of every day is busy busy busy!"

"Hey," Honda poked his head into the lobby, "you guys look like you're free, want to go get something to eat?"

"Yeah, sure," said Waya. "You coming, Shindou?"

"Yeah."

"Great," said Honda. "Let me just go get some other people."

Hikaru was pleasantly surprised when Honda came back with Nase, Komiya and Fuku in tow. He was also pleasantly surprised when they were able to secure their favourite table at the local NcDonalds. He was not so pleasantly surprised when the topic of the _Weekly Go _contest came up.

"I'm almost done!" Fuku informed them while happily dipping his fries in mayonnaise. "I'm writing about the first time I saw my uncle play go. He's so cool! He plays really fast but he doesn't make any mistakes, except this one time when he played a _hane _when he meant to play a _hane-dashi_. And another time he missed an _atari_. And another time he knocked over his captured stones and totally messed up the board. But other than that he's really good!"

Waya groaned. "A speed player. Why am I not surprised. Nase, what about you, you writing anything?"

Nase took a sip of her cola and shook her head. "No, I don't have time for it, as much as I'd like to. It's not super busy at school yet, but I really have to watch my grades."

"I remember how that feels," Honda sighed.

"I'm the same as Nase," Komiya chimed in, "except that I don't really care about the contest. I do too much writing in Japanese class as it is."

"Honda-san, what about you?" asked Hikaru.

Honda shuffled in his vinyl seat guiltily. "I haven't decided yet."

"What?"

"What do you mean you haven't decided yet?"

"Isn't it due in two days?"

"But I don't have any good ideas yet, and I really don't want to write something second-rate," said Honda. "I was thinking of writing about playing against Yashiro Kiyoharu for the first time, when he used a first-hand _tengen_, but that was a pretty bad loss for me and I don't think it's interesting enough."

"There's just so much pressure to impress," grumbled Hikaru, echoing his earlier conversation with Waya. Yeah, it was the _pressure's _fault, not his.

"Well, if you don't have anything to write about, then don't write," Waya said around the cheeseburger he was stuffing in his mouth.

"But everyone else is doing it," Hikaru replied.

"Not everybody," said Nase.

"Yeah, what are we, chopped liver?" Komiya added. "I don't see what the big deal is anyway."

"Well," said Fuku, "I don't know if this is going to make sense, but it was kind of...fun being under all this pressure to write? There's kind of this feeling of us all being in it together. And it's even more fun now that I've finished and I can watch everyone else trying to finish."

"Glad you enjoy our suffering," muttered Hikaru.

Komiya gave Fuku a dubious look. "What, so it's a big bonding experience or something?"

"I don't agree with that," put in Honda.

Nase tapped her fingers on the table. "I can sort of see what Fuku means, even though I'm an 'outsider.' We hardly ever see you guys anymore since you turned pro, outside of Waya's study groups-Waya, you should really start those up again-but then you invited us out today, Honda-san, probably so you could procrastinate. It was really nice of you."

Honda's face abruptly turned pink. "You're welcome."

"Wait," said Komiya, "so you're all bonded together in the act of procrastination?"

Hikaru fidgeted in his seat. That was way too accurate for his tastes.

"The way you say it makes it sound so silly," said Nase, smiling. "Bonded together in the act of procrastination."

Waya finally shoved the last bit of his burger in his mouth. "Bonding. Yeah right. You know that we're all going to be sitting alone in our apartments as usual after this."

"Maybe you just need to get out more," suggested Komiya.

"Maybe you need a bigger apartment, so people would actually want to visit you."

"A fridge would be nice too."

"Air conditioning."

"Heat in the winter."

"Hell yeah, it's like an icebox in there."

"And yet the soft drinks are always mysteriously lukewarm."

Waya exploded in sudden wrath, "What is this, rag-on-Waya day? No wonder I wanted to become a pro so much, it was so I could get away from you people!"

"Or maybe you just wanted to get away from Fuku beating you all the time."

"Fuku did not beat me _all _the time," Waya sulked. "I beat him once."

"_Anyway_ ," said Nase, "getting back to the contest, shouldn't you guys be panicking?"

Waya stole one of her fries. "Stop acting so casual just because you decided not to enter."

"I'm just worried that you'll try to do it all at the last minute. Especially Hikaru."

"That's not fair," Hikaru protested. "Why does everyone assume I don't know what I'm doing?"

Everyone just kind of stared at him. Then they all started laughing. Fuku sprayed half-chewed chicken nuggets all over Waya's shirt.

"Shindou," began Nase, one hand covering her mouth delicately, "no offense, but you were always telling us about your test scores in junior high. Waya, stop throttling Fuku."

"We used to take bets on how low your scores could get," Honda admitted with a grin. "I won a bundle of money when you got seven percent on a math test."

"I hate you all," said Hikaru darkly. It wasn't his fault he'd done so badly in math. Sai had had no head for modern math systems.

"The point is," said Komiya, "you should maybe be worrying a bit. What with there being only two days left. Honda-san and Waya too."

Waya unwrapped his fingers from Fuku's throat. "Who says I'm not worrying?"

"The fact that you're hanging out here with us says it all, don't you think?"

Hikaru looked at Waya who looked at Honda who looked at Hikaru, who felt like he was playing a mental game of rock-paper-scissors. "Maybe we're just looking for inspiration," he suggested weakly.

"Inspiration?" said Nase, surprised. "If you're looking for inspiration, then why aren't you at Touya-san's go salon?"

Hikaru's mood immediately darkened. "My life doesn't revolve around Touya Akira," he informed her loftily.

"Yes, it does," said Waya. "It totally does."

"I never actually said anything about Touya _Akira_," Nase added with an annoyingly cute smile. "You brought him up yourself. It's so sweet."

Hikaru scrunched up his hamburger wrapper and aimed it at Waya's head, because it just wouldn't be nice to hit Nase. The ball ended up hitting Fuku instead.

"Ow!"

"I've got to go now," said Hikaru, pushing himself out of his seat. "I guess you're right-I should be writing. And you guys just invited me out to make fun of me."

"He finally figures it out," said Komiya.

"I'm sorry, Shindou, you just make it so easy," apologized Nase, still smiling.

"And _you _all make my life so difficult."

In response, Nase giggled and leaned across Honda (who blushed madly) to say to Hikaru, _soto voice_, "You'll be fine, you just need some inspiration_._ "

He gave her a blank look.

"Inspiration," she said, not-so-quietly this time. "You know where to go for that."

The blankness grew.

"_Touya Akira's salon_," she huffed, not-at-all quietly this time. She gave him a strong push towards the restaurant doors. "Stop being a stubborn _boy _and get over there already."

"There's no way I'm going there!" Hikaru yelled back.

"Thank you for eating at NcDonalds," said a sales clerk way too cheerfully. Hikaru stared at the pinstripes of her uniform as he walked out the door.

"No way in hell," he muttered.

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

Hikaru found himself in front of hell.

He'd only opted for Nase's solution after many long, long nano-seconds of careful consideration. He'd wanted to go to his grandfather's house instead, where Sai's goban still rested, but no one had picked up the phone when he called. And he knew in his heart that things hadn't truly started there, his heart hadn't been stolen by go in that attic. The place where it had really begun was...here.

He just hoped Touya wasn't in.

Hikaru stole into the salon with the liquid footsteps of a ninja.

"If it isn't Shindou!" yelled one of the patrons.

"Welcome, Hikaru-kun!" greeted Ichikawa.

"I thought you weren't going to see me anymore," said a cool, familiar voice.

Hikaru heard Touya's snotty little comment before he saw his snotty purple suit. "Were you waiting to ambush me or something?" he huffed.

"No, of course not."

Touya was sitting at a table near the door today instead of his usual place near the back. The chair across from him was empty.

"You don't even have an opponent, you're just playing with the stones," Hikaru accused. He strode to the table and tried to read the shape on the board. It looked like a waffle. And Touya's cheeks were a little pink even, like he'd been arranging that waffle just for Hikaru, a pretty little housewife in a lavender apron. Where the hell did that thought come from?

"Your game sucks," said Hikaru, in a desperate attempt at normalcy.

"Be quiet," said Touya, who was as of yet still too polite to say "shut up" in front of the customers. The shut ups would come later. "You're the one who came back to _me _when you said that you wouldn't. You don't have the right to act high and mighty."

Now it was Hikaru's turn to flush. "I didn't come here to see you. This isn't your private go salon. I can come here and not talk to you if I want to."

"But you're talking to me," Touya pointed out.

"You started it."

"You didn't have to answer."

Hikaru didn't let the words that were floating in his brain come out of his mouth: _But I always answer you._

Touya seemed to notice Hikaru's brain-mouth communication breakdown, because he tilted his head just enough to reveal what a smug bastard he was, not-so-deep-down. "Did you come to ask for my help with your essay? I would be glad to check over your grammar for you."

"_No_, I don't need your help. I just wanted to come here to find the right atmosphere, help me generate some ideas."

"Don't tell me you haven't even started yet?"

Hikaru was proud of the fact that he had gotten so used to lying about his essay over the past few days that he didn't even blink an eye at Touya's accusation.

"On the contrary, I'm almost done," he said calmly, and mentally added _almost done digging myself into the biggest hole ever discovered since someone tried to measure the size of Hamasaki __Ayumi _s brain. "Yeah, I'm doing great."

"Really," Touya replied dispassionately, clearly skeptical. "Well, why don't you sit down and tell me about it."

Hikaru looked at the goban. It looked so tempting, despite its current waffly disposition. He forced himself to turn his nose up into the air. "I said you wouldn't be seeing me until after the contest is over, and I meant it."

"I can see you right now."

"Of course you can, you're a stalker."

"This is my father's go salon. I have every right to be here."

"And I'm a paying customer, I have every right to be here too."

Touya turned his head toward the front counter. "Ichikawa-san, has Shindou paid the entrance fee?"

Ichikawa looked away from the customer she was talking to. "No, of course not. He never does."

"Thank you." Touya turned back to Hikaru, an expectant look on his face.

"That's not the point," said Hikaru with a lot more bluster than me felt. "The point is that you should stop acting so superior just because you think you can write better than me. So you went to Kaio, everyone knows you went to Kaio, you still dress like you're trying to make up for some kind of psychological problem you got from going to Kaio. You know Kaio's uniforms always made you look like you escaped from a nuthouse, right?"

Touya half-stood up from his chair and slammed his hands on the table. Hikaru had finally reached the threshold of Touya's anger.

"Stop acting like a five year old!" Touya said loudly, not quite shouting yet. "Just admit you need help and I'll help you!"

"I don't need your help!"

"Boys!" called Ichikawa. "If you're gonna do your thing together, can you not be too loud today?"

"We are not doing anything together!" Hikaru and Touya yelled back at the same time.

She ignored them and began issuing the five minute warning signal to the remaining customers, who hardly needed to be told when to escape from the imminent Hikaru-Touya meltdown.

Hikaru crossed his arms and glared at Touya. "Now look at what you've done."

"I haven't done anything. I've just been minding my own business. It's you who barged in here and started making so much noise, like you always do!"

"You're making just as much noise!"

"Because you keep pretending that you didn't come here to see me!"

He couldn't really deny that, especially not with his fingers itching to clear the board, take the stones in hand, slam them in the spots he knew would drive Touya crazy. He looked at Touya, who was breathing hard, heat flushing his face. It made Hikaru's heart beat harder too. Suddenly he had a sudden vision of himself lunging across the goban, grabbing Touya by the tie, stones flying everywhere, pulling him to the ground and pinning him, making him flush too, straddling that skinny body of his and _punching the living daylights out of him_. Yes, that would totally make Hikaru's day.

But Touya seemed to be getting control of himself. He sat down and said, voice low, "Shindou, why did you come here, if not to play me?"

Hikaru did not know what to say. He only knew that his hands were so, so itchy for the stones. He ran his fingers along the edge of the table, then said, "I have to leave."

There was a flicker of fear in Touya's eyes, and Hikaru realized with a tiny pang of guilt that he was always leaving Touya like this, without answers. He said hastily, "I'm not gonna disappear, I'm just gonna go write."

"Did you find what you were looking for here?"

He shook his head. "No. I guess I'll have to look somewhere else."

"Fine," said Touya. "See you after it's over."

"Yeah."

Hikaru took his hand off the table and made his way toward the door.

"Bye," he waved to Ichikawa as he was passing by.

"Wait," she said. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. You need ideas for the writing contest, right? Could I try to help you out?"

Hikaru paused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Come with me." She beckoned him to follow her through the door behind the counter. He had never been in that room before. He had never really said more than five words at a time to Ichikawa, come to think of it.

What the hell, he thought as he followed her in. It couldn't hurt at this point.

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

"Now, just lie down and relax," said Ichikawa soothingly. She was wearing a rather low-necked shirt today, Hikaru noticed as she leaned over to push him gently onto the couch. _Boom chika chika wow wow _went the imaginary jukebox in his head.

Relax, he told himself sternly. Think about something stupid to distract him, like Touya. Stupid Touya making a waffle for him. In a lavender apron. _Bow wow chika chika wow wow. _Oh god, Hikaru was going insane.

Ichikawa was closing the blinds. "I'm just going to make this room nice and dark to set the mood," she explained. _Bow wow chika chika WOW WOW. _"I want you to let your mind wander. Dream up crazy things, things you wouldn't normally think of. Visualize." _Touya in a lavender apron. Ichikawa helping him with the waffle iron. Batter dripping everywhere. Agh. _"Some people need to have lots of stimuli in order to come up with anything, but I think you're an overstimulated boy already." _You got that right. _"You have a story in you, you just need to sit down and let it come out. Or just lie down, rather." She sat down next to him on the couch.

_Oh god. _"I, uh, don't see exactly how-"

"Trust me." She winked at him. "I was the president of the art club in high school, I know all about having a creative block. You just need to think about nothing for a while."

"Right. Think of nothing."

She stretched languidly Ccausing her shirt-which was rather thin in addition to being low-necked, he noticed-to ride up a little. "Aaah, I wish I could lie down too. I'm so tired after working so hard today."

_Think of nothing think of nothing think of nothing...nothing._

"I'll leave a pen and paper on the table. When you think of something interesting, just _write_. Don't worry if it's perfect. You just need to get some of your ideas out."

"Okay. Okay."

"Well, I'll leave you to it then."

And abruptly, Hikaru was alone in the dark.

Okay. Thinking time. He was good at thinking, right? He was a pro go player, which meant he _had _ to be good at thinking. Right.

Think think think.

All he had to do was fill a blank page with words, just like how he filled a go board with stones every day of his life. All of his games said something interesting. Like his game with Isumi-san last week, when he'd played a risky pincer, and Isumi had responded with a clever move that was an escape and attack at the same time. Or his game this morning, when his opponent had lured him into a trap, but Hikaru had turned the tables with a few unconventional hands. And best of all were his games with Touya, who-

Touya, who Hikaru hadn't played for days.

He couldn't help dwelling on their latest argument, which hadn't even been about a go game. But actually it _was _about go, wasn't it? About the games they hadn't been playing.

He remembered that brief moment of fear he'd seen in Touya's eyes, the fear that Hikaru would leave and not come back. Which was ridiculous, because Hikaru remembered how painful it had been to stop playing, like a part of his body had been cut off, or like being unable to speak or walk or see. He would never, ever stop playing again. Go was all that he was. It was his strength, his language, it was the only way he could connect to-

Of course. Hikaru couldn't write because there was no one to answer him. Touya, Isumi-san, Waya, everyone he ever played. They were part of his games, they were part of the patterns he wrote. But here all he had was a blank sheet of paper and his own mind, which was silent now but for his own thoughts. He didn't have anyone to speak to up there, not anymore.

He was supposed to write about an experience that changed his go. But what that really meant was...writing about that people who changed his go.

_Sai, should I write about you?_

But no. It was too risky, even if he worded things vaguely. People would be reading this essay. _Touya _might read it. If Hikaru won the contest, hundreds of people, maybe all around the world, would see his words and maybe make the connection to the games that Sai played online. If all the people with all the pieces to the puzzle started _talking _to each other...it was a good thing Touya seemed averse to talking. God, what if Touya started asking his father about the internet match with Sai? Or if Waya ever got over his weird, prickly dislike for Touya and the two of them started comparing notes? What if everyone started coming out of the woodwork to gossip about Hikaru, what if Kawai-san told people about his frenzied search for Sai in Innoshima, or Tsutsui and Kaga showed up at the institute and started blabbing about those games they'd seen Sai play through Hikaru's hands? What if, god forbid, Isumi-san told people he'd seen Hikaru cry over the goban that one time? But wait, everyone had seen him cry when he'd lost to Ko Yongha at the North Star Cup. Did they know why?

Sai. Sai. Sai. He couldn't write; his hand felt like it was paralyzed. Even if he left his name off the essay, everyone would know it was him. And everyone would see the ghost lingering behind his words, they would see Sai, and then Touya would...

But Touya had already found Sai, hadn't he? He had said to Hikaru, not long ago, _there's another person inside of you_ , and the world had not ended.

Hikaru reached over to the table and picked up the pen and paper. He began to write, all the while feeling as if Touya were across from him, listening.

_There was once an ordinary boy who lived in a minor suburb of Tokyo. He had no ambition, no dreams, but he was pretty happy, even though his best friend was a girl._

_Then he met a go master named Fujiwara no Sai._

The pencil paused. There was something so weird about seeing Sai's name in print. Had he gotten the kanji right? He had never asked Sai how he wrote his name.

_Sai was a total wimp and really girly sometimes. Come to think of it, the boy always seems to make friends with really girly people._

Hikaru laughed a little, blinking away the moisture that had come to his eyes. Touya always had to butt his way into things.

_But Sai was very, very good at go. And he wanted to teach the boy how to play go too._

He put down the pencil, folded up the little square of paper and put it in his pocket.

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

Ichikawa took one look at his face as he came out of the back room and put a friendly arm on his shoulder.

"I think you needed that," she said, somehow coming off as motherly rather than patronizing, though Shindou would rather die than admit that out loud, mainly because Ichikawa-san was known to have a fit at anyone who suggested she was anything like their mother. Or anything over sixteen, for that matter.

"I think maybe I can do this now," he told her. "Thank you."

"Any time, Shindou-kun."

%_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_

That night, Hikaru wrote down everything he could remember about Sai. It was a mess, it wasn't in any sort of order that made sense. But it was all true, ghosts and all.

And he realized, _I definitely can't show this to anyone._

He was miserable yet oddly euphoric when he finally put himself to bed.

**end chapter 1**

* * *

Author's note:

This fic was written for round five of the blind_go challenge on Livejournal in May 2008.

The fic itself is a parody of the blind_go challenge, so there are maybe a few in-jokes floating around. :D


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**_  
_

Author's note:

In the first scene of this chapter, there is quite a bit of chatroom dialogue. Each users' dialogue is supposed to be in a different colour for ease of reading, but I couldn't include the colour HTML on FFnet, wah. If you want to see the original version of this chapter in all its technicolour glory, go to answer-key dot livejournal dot com slash 65021 dot html

* * *

_The day before doomsday_

So Hikaru had had his epiphany, and he'd written something important. He was supposed to be bursting with enlightenment now, his story arc should've taken a turn for the serious, maybe a fight with the last boss was in order-but when he woke up in the morning he felt oddly, totally...normal.

He turned on his computer and signed onto the NetGo server he usually frequented, wondering if anyone else would be online to epiphanize him.

_You have an instant message from ochi12_  
_[Are you available for a game? Go to the usual chatroom or message me. I'll leave my account logged in.]_

Not exactly someone he was hoping for, but desperate times called for desperate chats with random people. He opened up his usual online hangout spot, the "Waya's Study Group" chatroom. Only Ochi was there at the moment, but Hikaru knew that that was bound to change once he entered the chatroom. People tended to not want to chat with Ochi alone.

_fivealive has entered the room_  
fivealive hi ochi  
fivealive can't really play rihgt now but i'll chat  
ochi12 you have to finish your contest entry, I take it  
fivealive well yeah  
_why_huh has entered the room_  
why_huh hey  
fivealive hey  
fivealive what happened to zelda?  
why_huh retired  
why_huh got tired of stupid questions about why i had a girl's name  
why_huh i mean i knew it was a girls name i just thought it was cool  
why_huh u know?  
ochi12 I have no idea what you two are talking about.  
fivealive dont worry bout it  
ochi12 trust me, I'm not  
ochi12 so are either of you finished your essay? I've finished mine.  
fivealive well not quite  
why_huh not finished  
_theneedforspeedtoo has entered the room_  
theneedforspeedtoo HI GUYS!  
theneedforspeedtoo ANYONE WANTO PLAY SPEED GO?  
why_huh NO  
why_huh you suck  
fivealive you lost to fuku again?  
why_huh NO  
why_huh well yes but that's imaterial  
theneedforspeedtoo THATS NOT WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT  
why_huh why are you always so inapprorpiately cheerful at this godawful hour in the morning  
theneedforspeedtoo why huh?  
_isumi11 has entered the room_  
isumi11 hi  
fivealive hi isumisan  
why_huh yo  
ochi12 hello, Isumi-san.  
theneedforspeedtoo ISUMISAN WHAT'S A LYNCH MOB?  
fivealive what  
isumi11 ...why are you asking me that?  
theneedforspeedtoo BECAUSE WAYA WAS TALKINGABOUT USING ONE ON OCHI YESTERDAY  
isumi11 i don't think that's the proper usage of the word  
isumi11 you don't really "use" a lynch mob  
why_huh that's not how i said it  
ochi12 Why were you talking about setting a lynch mob on me? (this is proper usage)  
fivealive waya did ochi beat you in a game or something  
why_huh no, why do you always assume i want to kill someone cuz i've lost to them?  
fivealive because of that time you punched mashiba  
why_huh i didn't lose to him he insulted isumisan so i had to  
theneedforspeedtoo THAT'S SO SWEET!1  
isumi11 ...anyway, lynch mobs  
isumi11 why do you want to set a lynch mob on Ochi?  
ochi12 Because I finished my essay and handed it in two days ago,  
why_huh well it's stupid not to use the whole amount of time they gave us  
ochi12 and I doubt Waya has even started his.  
why_huh and your younger than us you probbly have less literary experience.  
isumi11 um, actually, since he's still in school  
isumi11 he's probably more comfortable with writing  
theneedforspeedtoo ME TOO I DO AN ESSAY EVERY WEEK  
why_huh go do your homework then the adults are talking here  
theneedforspeedtoo THAT'S NOT FAIR  
theneedforspeedtoo JUST BECAUSE I HAVEN'T PASSED THE PRO EXAM  
theneedforspeedtoo DOESN'T MEAN I'M WEAKER THAN YOU  
theneedforspeedtoo IM YOUR RIVAL  
theneedforspeedtoo AND I PASSED THE LEVEL 2 KANJI KNOWLEDGE TEST SO THERE  
fivealive yeah you still wipe the floor with waya  
ochi12 agreed  
why_huh hey that give me an idea  
fivealive wiping the floor?  
isumi11 you do need to clean your apt  
theneedforspeedtoo DID YOU SPILL SOMETHING?  
why_huh i've got an idea!  
ochi12 I think this is the first time this has ever happened to him.  
why_huh i'm so excited i7m going to ignore that  
why_huh i know waht to write!  
why_huh thanks fuku sorry for being an ass  
isumi11 u haven't started yet?  
why_huh been stressed out  
why_huh bye guys  
_why_huh has left the room_  
ochi12 Well, that was rather abrupt.  
fivealive wonder what idea he got  
isumi11 it must have been a good one  
theneedforspeedtoo MAYBE HE'S GOING TO WRITE ABUOT ME  
theneedforspeedtoo HOW HE FINALLY BEAT ME IN THE PRO EXAM  
ochi12 he certainly did get lucky that day  
fivealive no he said he wasn't going to write about the proexm  
fivealive pro exam  
isumi11 it would be fine if he did though  
theneedforspeedtoo BUT IT WAS EPIC  
theneedforspeedtoo I HOPE HE WRITES ABOUT MEE!  
isumi11 fuku, could you turn off capslock? it's kind of annoying  
theneedforspeedtoo WHATS CAPLOCK?  
_why_huh has entered the room_  
fivealive hi  
ochi12 Why are you back?  
why_huh okay guys what do you think about this  
why_huh I'm going to write about the pro exam, but not about passing. Passing was incidental. I'm going to frame the pro exam as my epic journey to finally beat Fuku, my eternal rival! Who kept beating me, but who I finally managed to defeat when it counted, but who still beats me now because _the game never endsz_ ! The judges love stuff like that about learning from your mistakes and eating humble pie and shit and all sorts of igo/ego philosophy.  
why_huh so what do you think?  
why_huh why is no one saying anything  
ochi12 how derivative. But I guess I should have expected as much fromyou.  
why_huh what the hell is that supposed to mean?  
why_huh you'd never have the balls to say that to my face  
ochi12 Trust me, if I thought you were being an idiot, I would say so.  
isumi11 stop it, both of you  
why_huh not my fault ochi's an asshole  
ochi12 Waya needs to stop overcompensating for his educational deficiencies  
why_huh and a stuck-up snothead  
ochi12 and just admit he isn't going to win a _writing _contest  
why_huh and you think YOU can win?  
why_huh youll be crying to mama when the results come out  
ochi12 Oh ho, really.  
ochi12 speaking of which, are you going to have your mother help you write it? But she probably wouldn't be able to do very well either  
ochi12 you have to get it from somewhere  
why_huh you shut up about my mother  
theneedforspeedtoo HAY GUYS I FOUND THIS AWESOME VIDEO ON YOUTUBE  
isumi11 everyone calm downn  
isumi11 hikaru, have you done your essay?  
fivealive why are you pciking on me now  
fivealive no i havent  
fivealive i wrote a lot of things down but they're not things I want to submit  
theneedforspeedtoo BUT YOU'VE GOT IDEAS  
theneedforspeedtoo THAT'S A GOOD START  
theneedforspeedtoo I USUALLY START BY WRITING DOWN ANYTHING THAT POPS INTO MY HEAD REALLY REALLY FAST SO I DONT MISS ANYHTING  
fivealive i kind of did that last night for all the good it did me  
isumi11 but at least you've started writing things down?  
fivealive yeah  
fivealive there's no way i'm going to lose to touya on this  
ochi12 Here we go again.  
why_huh and there's no way i7m going to lose out on a trip to korea  
ochi12 There's no way either of you is going to finish in time.  
ochi12 It's due _tomorrow._  
ochi12 I can't believe how foolish you are.  
why_huh say that again punk  
ochi12 I can't believe how foolish you are.  
theneedforspeedtoo THAT WAS REPETATIVE  
why_huh you are dead  
why_huh the next time I see you  
why_huh youre going to wish  
why_huh you were never born  
_isumi11 has left the room_  
fivealive i guess its the lynch mob after all huh  
theneedforspeedtoo I STILL DONT KNOW WHAT THAT IS  
ochi12 I'm so very scared of you.  
why_huh what did you say? couldn't hear you your too low to the ground  
fivealive i guess i should get writing guys bye  
_fivealive has left the room_

Hikaru gave a tired sigh as he logged off. People really did get weird online. Waya and Ochi, in particular. Not that they weren't weird offline too.

He was still epiphany-less, and it looked like the internet wasn't going to be any help. Stupid internets. Well, maybe he should just relax for a while and not think about anything. He was good at that. And Ichikawa-san had told him it was a good idea.

He put his head down on the desk and closed his eyes, trying not to think about the internets and deadlines. Soon enough he was asleep.

He dreamed of cake.

O_o O_o O_o O_o O_o

"And that's when we lynched Ochi down the toilet," Hikaru explained to his mother, who absentmindedly set down a log-shaped slice of cake in front of him to go with his afternoon Earl Grey. "We had to find the toilet with the highest water level and the lowest sanitation level to be truly effective-mother dearest," he interrupted himself plaintively, "Earl Grey is simply delicious but I would really prefer green tea."

"It doesn't go with the cake. Hm, where did I put the small forks?"

"And it had to be a Western style toilet, the Japanese ones just wouldn't work. He squirmed a lot at first but then he got used to it. Ochi likes toilets."

"That's nice, dear. Oh, here they are." She gave him three very small, dainty forks. He had no idea which one to use first.

"Did you even hear what I said?" Hikaru shouted, rather too loudly for the situation he thought.

"Highest water level, lowest sanitation level. I always listen to you, Hikaru, I just don't know how to respond when you talk about go-related things."

"I'm not talking about go-related things, I'm talking about toilet lynchings."

"Hm, same thing. How come I haven't seen that Touya boy lately, by the way? I never mind having him over, I hope he knows that. His lavender suit makes me happy."

Hikaru waved his forks at his mother in irritation. She sounded too much like Akari. Strange that. "I don't want Touya here. He's my rival, not my friend."

She sipped her tea and gave him an appraising look. "Oh, it's that time of the month again."

His mother's characterization was just plain off today. "Have you been channelling Akari again?"

"No, your time of the month is just common knowledge. Don't open your mouth while you talk. You'll dribble icing all over yourself."

Hikaru looked down. He was indeed dribbling icing all over himself. But he didn't move to clean the dribble up. "Touya and I do _not _have a that time of the month. Can we talk about something else?" Even here Hikaru didn't feel like talking about Touya.

"How about that tall boy who came over here just the once? He was very...polite," she said with a smile that implied something quite other than 'polite.'

"You mean Isumi-san?" asked Hikaru with a growing sense of nightmare.

"He was so dreamy," she dreamily dreamed, "like that boy from the movie with the death notebook, but less sociopathic."

"Agh, you have no idea how much pain you are causing me."

"But that Isumi boy...oh..."

"I don't want to hear this anymore. There are more terrible things on heaven and earth that may be dreamed of, but I don't think there actually are. Why am I never this eloquent in real life? Hey, I said eloquent."

"If you want me to stop talking about your traumas, maybe you should pray to the God of Go."

"The...God of Go?" Hikaru repeated stupidly.

"Yes, the God of Go."

"I hear an echo."

"Don't you know, the God of Go is full of woe. You should commune with him, commune with the cosmic forces."

Hikaru stared at her for a goodly length of time before saying, "Is that your final answer?"

"No," she said in a strangely instense voice, her eyes glowing slightly. "This is."

_Hikaru Hikaru burning bright_

_Burning Brightly in the light_

_Where Is Sai? you do not know_

_Hey Hikaru let's play some go_

He had turned away from her as she spoke, unable to continue looking into her fiery eyes, but at the last line his head suddenly snapped upward-because the voice reciting the Final Answer had suddenly changed, it had become-

O_o O_o O_o O_o O_o

A knocking, a knocking on his chamber door, only this and nothing more. Also his mother's annoying, concerned voice coming from outside his room.

"Hikaru, I didn't wake you up for lunch because you seemed so tired, but you've been asleep all day. It's already four o'clock! You need to eat something!"

Hikaru cracked an eye open. The black notebook was sitting on the desk in front of him, beckoning to him from behind the puddle of drool that had somehow appeared there. He managed to lift his head up, get a mechanical pencil into his hand and open the notebook. Then he realized he had no idea what he was supposed to be writing.

"Hikaru! Are you there? I have cake for you!"

He made a face and yelled back weakly, "No thanks, mom! I'm busy here!"

What were the lines in the dream? They had been profoundly stupid, or stupidly profound, he couldn't remember which, but he _had _to get the words down on paper. Sai had tried to tell him something through that dream, that must be what it had been, Sai had always helped him with his homework-

"Are you sure? It's chocolate!"

"I'm sure!"

Except he _wasn't _sure at all. What had the words been? All he could remember was the cake now, it was all his noisy mother's fault. In both the dream _and _in real life.

"Okay, but I'll leave the cake out for you on the table! I'll put a bowl over it so it doesn't get dry."

"Yeah, thanks mom."

After the mother/cake-related distractions went away, he rolled up his sleeves and thought long and hard. This is what he eventually wrote.

_Hikaru Hikaru burning bright_

_Set'm on fire yeah that's right_

_If he hollers let him go_

_Eenie meany let's play go_

"What the hell!" Hikaru screeched. "There's no way I'm submitting _this_!"

O_o O_o O_o O_o O_o

_Doomsday._

Amano stared at Hikaru over the tops of his spectacles. "Shindou-kun, are you sure you want to submit this?"

"Um, I guess so."

"What on earth is this?"

"It's unedited. And it has lots of typoes."

"This is handwritten."

"Hand typoes."

"We specifically requested typed entries."

"I'm not so good with computers and I don't have a printer."

Amano gave him a tired look. "Do you know what I've been having to go through because of this contest? I looked at the early submissions and...there was this piece about zombies_._ _Zombies_. Is it so hard to tell us about an experience that changed your go without bringing zombies into it? And there were other stories about magic powers and going to other worlds. If this sort of thing were put on my desk under normal circumstances it wouldn't even go to the slush pile, it'd go straight to the trash bin (Hikaru wasn't sure what a slush pile was, but he wasn't about to ask). A lot of pros don't even have high school degrees, and you can forget about university, so what do you think the writing quality is like? I don't get paid enough for this."

When Amano finally ran out of breath, Hikaru said the first thing that came to his mind. "Uh...that's pretty rough."

"I'm sorry," said Amano immediately, running a hand across his forehead. "It's been stressful, to say the least."

Hikaru was saved any further potential embarrassment when a voice called out, "Shindou-san! Exactly the person I wanted to see. Can I interview you?"

It was the young _Weekly Go _reporter who had done all those messed-up interviews during the North Star Cup. Hikaru racked his brains but couldn't remember the guy's name.

The Reporter-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named looked at Amano and said, "Sorry, can I borrow Shindou-kun from you?"

"Of course. I know what piece you're working on. Make sure you write down all the details this time."

"I will!" replied the little reporter as Amano took his leave. "So, Shindou-kun, we're doing a feature on the up-and-comers of the go world. Can I ask you a few questions?"

"_Another _feature on that? Do you do those once a week or something?"

"Well, we are '_Weekly' Go_."

"...Whatever, just ask away."

"It'll only take a few minutes. First, I wanted to know what you think about Touya Akira's go-"

"He's strong, duh."

"-and second, whether your rivalry with him is something you wrote about for the _Weekly Go _essay contest."

Hikaru gave him an evil glare.

"I'm assuming that's what you were talking to Amano-san about, the writing contest-"

"Back to the first question," Hikaru interrupted. "Here's what I think about Touya's go. It's blinding, absolutely blinding."

"Ooh, good comment, let me write that down."

"Blinding in the way that Touya's purple suits are blinding when he wears them with his green shirt. I mean blinding as in, 'Agh, I will never see again because this sad excuse for a go strategy has blinded me in the eyes.' You get what I mean?"

The reporter looked up from his notebook, where he was furiously transcribing Hikaru's response. "Are you saying Touya's go isn't color-coordinated?"

"I'm saying it makes me want to claw my eyes out."

"'...claw my eyes out.' Okay, gotcha. So it's bad go?"

Hikaru looked away. "I didn't say that. It's just stupid go. Blind, stupid, Touya-go."

"There's quite a big difference between "blinding" and "blind," Shindou-san, you'll have to make up your mind about what kind of analogy you're making there."

"I'm just a former insei who never went to high school. It's not like I can make smart comments or write a decent essay. All I can do is play go. I hope that's enough for Touya. I'm his rival, right?"

He looked away, feeling a weird grimace coming onto his face. Since when did he care about this writing contest so much, or about being able to match up to Touya in anything other than go? It was just the trip to Korea that he wanted, right?

The reporter squirreled his way back into Hikaru's line of sight. "Are you okay, Shindou-kun?"

"I'm fine. But not really in the mood for an interview. Sorry."

"That's all right. I'll go interview someone else, I think. I'll see you later!"

"See you."

The reporter, whose name Hikaru really wished he could remember, made his way to the elevator, which was just opening to let someone out.

It was Waya, who looked like one of the zombies that Amano had been complaining about. He had dark bags under his eyes and a manic, toothy grin spread across his face. He lurched past the reporter and fell upon Hikaru in a manner that was not creepy at all. Nope.

"Shindooouuuu!"

"Aaaah, Waya."

"I finished!" Waya waved a single sheet of paper in Hikaru's face. "I finally finished!"

"I hope you're not too late-I barely made it on time. Well, go give it to Amano-san directly. He's in the _Weekly Go _office."

"Yeah!" Waya exclaimed, as if Hikaru had just revealed the secrets of the universe. "I'll do that!" And he lurched off a few steps before coming back. "But let me read it to you first. It's genius!"

"Uh, that's okay. You already told me what it's about in the chat. Your rivalry with Fuku, right?"

"Nah, I scrapped that. Too derivative. What I wrote is way better!"

Hikaru winced inwardly as Waya started reading in a raspy, just-a-little-bit-batshit-insane voice.

_There's nothing so scary as_  
_the page that is blank,_  
_the feeling in your gut that_  
_your story's gonna tank._

_"Why didn't I start earlier?"_  
_you cry to the moon,_  
_you hope God will bring you _  
_some totally wicked awesome idea soon._

_So, your pen's in your hand,_  
_your keyboard is calling,_  
_your coffee is cold,_  
_your cat's caterwauling._

_But it's four in the morning_  
_and you're still in mourning,_  
_for the time that flew by_  
_despite two months' warning._

_Oh, you've tried and you've failed_  
_you've bemoaned your cruel fate,_  
_you've begged to the admins_  
_"Can my submission be late?"_

_But who are you kidding?_  
_you're just a dumb hack,_  
_you're writing won't give anyone_  
_a blissful heart attack._

_So! here's to half-assedness,_  
_to dribbles and drabbles,_  
_to unedited epics full of_  
_strange psychobabble._

_To distractions, procrastination!_  
_To plot bunnies ever-spawning! _  
_To friends and to chatting!_  
_To the day that is dawning!_

_...Say what? What light from yonder window breaks?_  
_It is the east! Oh crap, it is the sun!_  
_Guess you'll have to hand in_  
_Whatever it is you've done._

_Yeah, there's nothing so scary as_  
_the page that is blank,_  
_the feeling in your gut that_  
_your story's gonna tank._

_But at least you've got something_  
_that fits the word limit,_  
_and this thing might be scary_  
_but at least we're all together in it._

Waya peered at Hikaru with his baggy, bloodshot zombie eyes. "So? Whadja think?"

"...Interesting interpretation of the theme. Um, what does this have to do with 'an experience that changed your go?'"

"Nothing! That's why it's genius! I'ma gonna hand it in now."

Lurch, lurch, lurch went Waya toward the _Weekly Go _office.

Hikaru was quite relieved when he made it to his getaway vehicle (the elevator). He hoped Waya wouldn't be upset with him for abandoning him in his hour of zombieness-hopefully he just wouldn't remember seeing Hikaru at all. He had to admit, though, that Waya's poem was kind of catchy, if irrelevant. Waya was pretty sharp when he wasn't being stupid.

Well, the contest was done. Now all he could do was wait for the big reveal. Whose story would reign supreme?

**end chapter 2**

* * *

Author's Notes:

This fic was written for round five of the blind_go challenge on Livejournal in May 2008. Even though it's been, um, four years, the last part of the fic is not written yet!

The fic itself is a parody of the blind_go challenge, so there are maybe a few in-jokes floating around. :D


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